Forgiving Offenses

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4

Forgiveness is such a difficult concept for us. We want to be forgiven, by God and by others for our mistakes and sins. But how can we expect forgiveness and at the same time have such a difficult time forgiving? Even when the wrongdoer apologizes we struggle to forgive.

When someone hurts us, be it a family member or someone else, we experience a variety of emotions. There is hurt, frustration, anger, and sometimes even thoughts of revenge. Family members may stop talking to each other. Grudges can be held for years even though we know we are not following Christ’s teaching or example.

Even if the offender does not repent or apologize, we still need to forgive. Christ on the cross, forgave those who crucified Him. We can and should forgive those who hurt us no matter how difficult it might be.

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. (Luke 23:24)

But how? It almost seems as though we like to be angry with those who hurt us. We don’t want to forgive. We want to be justified in our anger. We want to get back at the culprit and make them suffer the same pain that we have suffered.

If God were like us, He would have destroyed us long ago. Think of the horrible ways people have hurt God. Think of the sin that continues day after day in this world and yet, knowing in advance about this sin, God still sent His son to die on the cross so that we could be forgiven. When we confess our sins to Him, He forgives them, and He forgets that they even existed.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15)

How do we learn to forgive others the way God forgives us? When something goes against our nature, forgiveness is doubly difficult to accomplish but with God’s help we can.

Forgiveness may not be easy, and it may take time but there are things we can do to help ourselves become the forgiving people God wants us to be. Total forgiveness may take days, weeks, or months.

When we are hurt we must first decide that we will forgive the person that hurt us. We must say “I will forgive that person”.  Normally, we would say “I will never forgive that person”. But the more we say we won’t forgive the longer we will hurt and be angry. No good comes from holding a grudge

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Keep in mind that the alleged wrongdoer may not regret their actions or feel that they are in the wrong. It doesn’t matter. For our own sakes, we need to forgive and believe that God will work on their hearts in the way He sees fit.

Saying that we will forgive doesn’t mean we have. We are not there yet. We are only changing our thought processes to begin the healing and be open to Christ’s teaching.

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossions 3:13

We are obligated to ask God to forgive the person who hurt us, and we can ask Him to take our hurt 

away. We should also ask God to bless the person who hurt us and to help us to forgive them.

If we do this daily, God will honor our prayer, even our grudging prayer, and will take the hurt away. He will help us to forgive. Eventually the “I will forgive” becomes “I forgive”. When we are finally able to truly forgive, our own hurt will be gone. We can use the space that the forgiveness took up in our minds and hearts for other, better things for God.

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9)

Our lives are meant to be peaceful and abundant. There is no peace when there is no forgiveness. Blessings from God and abundant life don’t come to us when we are hard and unforgiving.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. ... (Matthew 18:21-35)

Prayer: Dear God, thank you for your forgiveness of our sins. Forgive us for hurting you and for hurting others. Help us all to forgive each other. Take any hurt that others have caused from us and help us to forgive them and to love them. Bless them and let your will be done in their lives and in ours. Amen.