Unmet Expectations



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The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish. (Proverbs 10:28)

God answers our prayers. God even answers when we don’t pray but sometimes His answers are not what we expect. Sometimes His answers are not what we want but are what we need instead. Christians know that it is better to receive what God wants for us than what we want for ourselves, but it is still difficult to expect a certain result and to have that expectation unmet.

Having expectations can be fun. Looking forward to a raise or promotion, a perfect score, or a special gift can be exhilarating.  However, when those expectations don’t come to pass, they can lead to frustration and even anger and depression. When we request something from God and are sure that He will provide it, but it doesn’t come in a way or time that we expect, we may lose faith or feel that God does not love us.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Constantly expecting things to be as we want them to be ends up as a roller coaster life full of extreme highs and very low lows. Always being in a state of expectation or despair over something that didn’t come to pass is not a victorious Christian life. And yet, never having any expectations can also be depressing. Never bringing our requests to God because we don’t want to be let down is not what God wants in our relationship with Him.

It is a dilemma.  Humans have many expectations whether they are expected answers to prayer or expectations of our jobs, families, or goals in life. For Christians it is better to have hope than expectations. In the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. (Chapter I: THE CHRISTIAN HOPE - Wiley Online Library)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13)

We can always pray for whatever we need or want with the hope (not expectation) that what God has promised will come to pass. That is, that God will provide what we need, when we need it, and how we need it. The fruit of the Holy Spirit that God has offered us are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These things we can always have and expect or hope for.

The fruit of not getting what we want is anger, frustration, competitiveness, detachment, loneliness, pessimism, resentment, stubbornness, and suffering. These come from having expectations that are unmet and usually undeserved, unrealistic, or prideful. Expectation is not the same as hope as the bible defines hope.

 “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)

When we turn our expectations into hope, we become more balanced and stable. Our hope is in God. We know that what God has in store for us will be so much better than anything we could possibly expect. We will face trials and we will have great successes. We will know that it is our faith and trust in God that provides all our needs in every situation.

Our lives run more smoothly, and we do not find ourselves upset when things don’t go our way. There is no roller coaster life filled with drama and disappointment. We are not negatively expecting nothing, so that we are not let down, and we are not eagerly anticipating things that may not happen.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

God will give us the desires of our hearts when we delight ourselves in Him because those desires will be for what the Lord wants, not what we want.

This verse is often used to say that God will give us the desires of our hearts, but we can’t forget that when we delight ourselves in Him, our desires, hopes, and expectations will all align with His will. We will not be disappointed when our prayers are answered in a different way than we expressed them.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to bring our requests before Him. He wants us to ask for our daily bread. He does not mind if we cry out to Him with desires, even ones we know may not be what He wants for us. He loves us, and He will answer as any loving father would. He will give us what we need but He will not allow anything that would hurt us in the long run.  

We may not understand until much later why things had to be the way they were, but we trust, and we have hope. Our expectation of God should be that He will always take care of us in the best way possible. That expectation will always be met.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Prayer: Lord, thank you for always giving us what we need and drawing us into your arms for comfort when we don’t get what we think we need. Help us change our expectations into hope. Help us change our thoughts from expecting everything to go as we desire, to trusting in You to provide. Let us be excited to see what You are going to do in every situation even as we bring You our ideas of the way things should go. We love you Lord and know that You are saving us from ourselves. Amen.



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